Monday 16th May

So, you're a Social Media Expert? What does that mean exactly? That you spend all day playing on FaceBook and Twitter? And you're proud of that? So proud that you claim it as you main occupation?
Is it code for "I lost my real job in the recession" or something?

Well, if you just tweet links every 15/20/60 minutes, and you never tell us anything "real" that's going on in your life, and you never reply to people who say stuff, either directly to you, or just in general, then you're gone... I'm not interested in tweeters who claim to be able to fix my life with viewing a link, or who just spout out guff about politics, religion, environment etc.

For me, Twitter is about engaging people - engaging them in little bits of conversation - finding common ground with complete strangers at the other end of the earth. So what if that common ground is that we both had a shitty day? Sometimes just knowing you're not the only one can help.

But therein lies a problem - what if I caught you on a bad week? What if you're conversationally stunted this week, or there's nothing going on that you want to share with the world? Well, then you're being thrown in my Guff pile - where I can still find you easily, and take a peek now and then, and maybe I'll be inspired to move you back in to the followed people, or maybe you'll be thrown out of Guff after a few times of never having anything interesting in your feed!

Real friends are in my "secret" friends list.  They're the people I really know, and are normally in my FaceBook friend list too - they're people I work with, and smile at when I pass them in the corridor, they're mums from school, they're friends from school/college/uni etc. And they're in one of the page tabs that FireFox opens as soon as I switch my computer on.

Then there's the "people I want to read" list - they're the list that I wanted to keep when I realised that AutoFollow was a shitty idea - I ended up with a gazillion Social Media experts in my feed, squillions of born again (or born 1st time!) Christians, drug companies claiming their meds/diets would cure my sons' autistic behaviours... and I didn't want to see those people, but I did want to read the flow from acquaintances, strangers who're interesting, certain celeb tweeters and so on.

And then there are those Tweeters who I stumbled across by utter accident - their feed contained something I'd just looked up a hashtag about, or I fell over them some other way and their feed concerned me - worried me in some way, but in the kind of way that I thought "this teen's gonna grow in to a UnaBomber" kind of person... so they're in my "Keep an eye on" list.

Only the Guff list isn't secret. I didn't want anyone I'd removed to think I'd abandoned them completely - afterall, the purpose of it was to keep people handy in case I made a mistake - wouldn't life be easier if you could do that in real?

Anyway - it's 2am Tuesday morning, and I'm off to bed - oldest son's finally had his shower (a fight everytime) and no longer stinks - can't send him off to his driving lesson, sat so close to his instructor in a stinky state!